Saturday, April 16, 2011


It's been a long time coming, but we finally made a "non-horror" preview for Lost Trailer Park. It's still exploitative and silly... but there aren't any corpses to be found!

Nope. This time it's not blood... it's blasphemy. Just in time for 4/20... it's...



Jimmy pitched the idea of an undecover DEA agent having to stop a pot dealing priest with the title, "Holy Smokes". I liked the cut of his gib, but thought it could be more lighthearted and pitched a straight comedy rather than an action comedy.

So, with that in mind, we watched "Kindergarden Cop", "Sister Act", "We're No Angels", and a few other lighthearted fish-out-of-water spots. It was fate.


I don't think a Lost Trailer Park has generated this many funny stories. One of the best was bringing the 2 foot plant into my folk's house and my Dad sees me... totally dumfounded.

We got to make fake drugs. The faux-buds were styrofoam bits doused in hot glue and covered in oregano. The joints were as well.

We didn't get permission to shoot the church exteriors. We just showed up with a half-dozen protestors. The interiors were shot at a small church in Baltimore that is rented out by a local anarchist collective (fate indeed).

Jimmy had purchased nun costumes for another gag. I believe the burnout priest says, "Don't worry! It's not habit-forming" (an idea by protestor extra, Jimmy Chrismer)... but we couldn' t find any girls that could do two days in a row.

Casting things is a tough based on the quick schedule/turnarounds... but we were lucky to use a bunch of regulars.

George Stover, Michael Brecher, Ryan Thomas, Josh Davidson (who provided his own glasses), and Sabrina Taylor-Smith all pop up in our new feature, "Witch's Brew". We were honored to have Paul Sieber join us for this one and especially stoked to have my mom play the pot-brownie-eating parishioner.

For the record (and for all potential employers reading this), we're not stoners. I swear! I'll pee in your cup any day of the week! (your drug test cup... not your coffee).

So there you have it... and on a kind of bummer note...

Lost Trailer Park will be taking a 3 month hiatus. We'll be back in August... but LTP has taken time away from finishing "Witch's Brew" and it's time to get into gear on finishing it up. It's been fun. Consider this the finale to Season One... let's just say I wanted to go out on a "high" note.

- Chris

Head Priest... Paul Sieber
Sad Priest... George Stover
Burnout Priest... Michael Brecher
Reverend... Josh Davidson
Detective... Ryan Thomas
Confession Girl... Sabrina Taylor-Smith
Protestors... Jimmy George, Jimmy Chrismer, Al Wright, and Joe Kilroy

Directed and Edited by Chris LaMartina
Written & Produced by Jimmy George and Chris LaMartina
Voice-Over by Andrew Shearer

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Doing Lost Trailer Park is like being in a really bad, quasi-abusive relationship...

Every time I say, "Nah... I think it's done..."... I want a quick fix of gore and sleaze... and I end up doing another one.

I didn't have to even think up this month's concept. Jimmy George (my cinematic better half) sent me a pdf of the 3 page screenplay a few weeks back and said... "Game on..."... yep, folks... it's that time of year... it's time for...


Well, to be totally honest... I had nothing to do with the initial concept so I can't spout off about that, but I can tell you my big influences were. 1. John Russo's The Majorettes (or "One by One" if you prefer) and 2. "Teen Wolf" (i'm totally kidding).

We just love tacky slasher movies with cheesy masks and Jimmy took every bad basketball pun he could find. It was meant to be.


Jimmy sent me the script and my first thought was, "how the fuck are we going to get a basketball court". We posted on fbook and luckily, my friend Allyson came through with a gym she used to work at.

Jimmy bought a bunch of basketball jerseys. We kept the tags on and returned 5 of 7 afterward! (Two had blood/holes) Thanks, Forman Mills!

We had a fantastic cast. Jimmy's wife, Jill screams her lungs off as the cheerleader. LTP regulars Pat Storck and George Stover yuck in up as a ref and coroner. Some stars of "Witch's Brew" (my in progress feature), Gary-Kayi Fletcher and Charlie Dreizen show their silly side. Dominique Spencer (who loses his hand) stars with Charlie in my friend/sound guy for "Witch's Brew", John Boushell's feature vampire film, "Fang". Alfred Guy (the cop) also stars (with New Years Exection's star, Brian St. August) in the action show, "The Fixer".

As usual, we had a blast doing it, it always feels like a family reunion. Nato (my gaffer on "Witch's Brew" and all around great dude) helped and gets to be one of the "GO TEAM" corpses. John Laveck, one of my three FX team members on "Witch's Brew", even did some fx for us. When they're good, they're his. When they're bad, it's my craftsmanship (or lack there of).

We shot the outside court scenes at two separate elementary schools. Both times, we left the severed body parts there... hoping it will scar some kid for life.

So... there it is, folks. "March Madness". Thanks to all involved... especially Andrew Shearer's redneck cousin who recorded an outtake of the vo. ; p

Star Player... Gary-Kayi Fletcher
Cheerleader... Jill George
Ref... Patrick Storck
Coach... Andy Vineberg
Foam hand fan... Dominique Spencer
"Fan" fan... Charlie Dreizen
Killer... Jimmy George
Additional Players/Fans.. Dan Sweeney, Pat Bray, Chris Riehl, Chris Laun, Allyson Washington, and Nate Spivey

Directed and Edited by Chris LaMartina
Written by Jimmy George
Produced by Jimmy George and Chris LaMartina
Special FX by John Laveck and Chris LaMartina
Additional Sound Recording by Mike Walls
Voice-Over by Andrew Shearer

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


They say you can never go home...

That's bullshit. Because I've never felt more at home as I did when I decided to make a faux trailer sequel to my very real feature, "President's Day".

So, I rallied the troops. Jimmy George, my cinematic better-half and I figured out where to take the story and Jimmy turned in a draft of the 2 page script... within a few weeks, it was finished.

Ladies and germs... I proudly present...


The original "President's Day" feature, which is slated for release later this year, was heavily influenced by the "Sleepaway Camp" sequels, "Memorial Valley Massacre", "Return to Horror High", and other campy/sleazy 80s slashers.

With that in mind, not much changed influence wise. We tried to scrape our brains for any more patriotic/political horror jabs and we managed to score a few more groan-worthy giggles.

Ever since I started LTP, I knew February have to be saved for a faux "President's Day 2" teaser. Jimmy George and I had ideas for a full length sequel ever since we wrote part one, but in all sincerity, it is very rarely a microbudget horror flick garners the success that warrants a sequel.

So, the trailer was good enough. We looked over the list of what we could do and organized a few quick shoots. My friend, Clint Kelly DPed for us and we got to use the same type of rig that we did on part one (except for the first 3 shots I did myself). Clint is a filmmaker in his own right. He's currently working on his first feature, Generation Z. He is truly a friend of sickening cinema.

We shot the film (without permission) at Towson University (my alma matter) and UMBC here in Baltimore. As per usual, we got some dirty looks, but mostly giggles. There's something about maniacs dressed as presidents that warms the heart.

We shot the Toga party scenes at Jimmy's new house and man, was it fun. Never thought I would get to put a classic frat staple in one of my flicks. Good stuff, indeed.

So there you have it. I'd be shocked if we ever got to make a "President's Day 2" feature... but if the opportunity arose... I would welcome it with open arms... and I'd cast Andrew Shearer as the Campus Radio DJ. ;p

Happy President's Day, vidiots.

Joanna Bolen.... Lizzy Denning
Sign Death... Kyle Watson
Merv Perkins (Newscaster)... Matthew Bowerman
Rake Death... Mark Sanders
Vote or Die... Nathan Meyer
Frat Paddle Recipient... John Boushall
Frat Paddle Death... Matt Leibensperger
Detective Kurtz... Paul Fahrenkopf

Directed & Edited by Chris LaMartina
Written & Produced by Jimmy George and Chris LaMartina
Cinematography by Clint Kelly
Special FX and Score by Chris LaMartina
Voice-Over by Andrew Shearer