Monday, November 22, 2010


Well, hello there... are you up to your neck in cooking and cleaning for Thursday's annual feast? Well, take a break and check out the November 2010 installment of Lost Trailer Park: Never Coming Attractions...


Okay. There really aren't that many grindhouse era Thanksgiving movies. The only one that comes to my mind is "Home Sweet Home" which features Jake (as in "Body by Jake") Seinfeld as a crazy roid-rage killer. I've watched the first five minutes of that flick atleast 30 times... and I've never ONCE finished the feature... but those first five minutes... hilarious.

So, if I had to gauge my influences. There were probably a few.. obviously, Eli Roth's faux "Thanksgiving" trailer. I mean, c'mon... it's near perfection. The recent killer turkey flick, "Thankskilling" should get a shout-out too (I met one of the actors in Ohio recently when "President's Day", my last feature, played a festival out there).

And finally, I would be remissed if I didn't give "Vault of Horror", the old Amicus anthology a nod. Vampires around a dinner table sipping on blood and eating raw meat? I tip my hat to you, "Midnight Mess".

I was seriously considering giving-up doing this things. We barely get views and it takes me away from the main focus right now (which is "Witch's Brew")... but after a flurry of people talking to me about how much they enjoyed them. I agreed to continue.

So, on the way back from Massachusetts, Jimmy George (my cinematic better-half - cowriter/coproducer on features) and I were brainstorming Thanksgiving spoofs. My first thought was a "Gremlins"/"Ghoulies" ripoff called "Gobble Gobble Goblins"... but that would have been a lot of work in no time. We had this conversation last week.

So, Jimmy suggested "Fangsgiving" and I was off. I scheduled a shoot with some of favorite regulars. George Stover has been in every major project of produced since 2008. Leanna Chamish appeared in "Grave Mistakes". Helenmary Ball (and her husband, Julian) and Jessy Danner appear in my latest "Witch's Brew". John Bennett and Patrick Storck are involved with Mondo Baltimore... a bad movie night we host at the WIndup Space in Baltimore city. And finally, Jason Koch and Kaleigh Brown came out to do some quick fx... Jason jokingly asked if they could use a pseudonym because it was so down-and-dirty fast. Yeah, I'm an asshole.

It felt like Thanksgiving. Collecting some of my favorite people and having some gory fun. We shot the whole thing in one night and it was edited in an afternoon. Andrew Shearer once again provided the fantastic voiceover. I forgot to put him in the credits at the end. So, he gets a special shout-out right here too. What up!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and I really hope you have a fantastic Thanksgiving.

Vampire Hunter... George Stover
Vampire #1... John Bennett
Vampire # 2... Helenmary Ball
Holy Water Vamp... Jessy Danner
Stake Vamp... Leanna Chamish
Vampire #3... Julian Ball
Muttenchops Vampire... Patrick Storck
Neckbrace Victim... Les Bradley

Written, directed, and edited by Chris LaMartina
Special FX by Jason Koch and Kaleigh Brown
Voice-Over by Andrew Shearer

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